Expectant

I spent this whole week in anticipation of the weekend.  I had already wished the days away on Monday morning.  Ironically, it was one of the worst weeks I've had in a while.  I spent every day preparing for what was coming, rather than engaging in the present.  I was grumpy, tired, and disconnected.

Every day I woke up hoping it was over, to just get to the next thing.  Why do we do this?  Why do we wish our lives away?

"I can't WAIT until Friday!"

"When will this day be over?"

"Only FIVE MORE DAYS until..."

"When the kids are older it will be easier."

"If only they were 3-4 years bigger..."

"When we're done with the baby stage..."

But when we do this, we will ourselves to forget about today.  We live expectant that tomorrow will be better.  We ignore the gift of this very moment.  When a gift is ignored, it is left unwrapped - unloved.  We neglect to experience today and be expectant of everything this very hour holds.

We aren't promised the weekend will ever come.

We aren't even promised tomorrow will come.

I know these truths, but why do I so often forget what God has already taught me?  I throw away truth and exchange it for so much less.

Finally, Friday came and I realized our children just needed me to stop cleaning, stop preparing, stop anticipating tomorrow.  So, I climbed into their world played like a child for a long while, just gobbling up what today was serving.  And peace came over us.

Some throw a decade away, expecting the next will be better.  Some throw a life away, anticipating something more and more never comes.

I throw a week away - but it is all the same.  Precious gifts of time here on earth, gifts we ought to hold tight and cherish as if they are the last gift we could ever be given.

These children will grow.

This husband will age.

This body will decay.

And Friday might or might not come.

Cling to today.  Sit in all its glory - expectant only in this very moment.





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